This blog post is part of the Fearless Friday series hosted by Kristal Norton, a fellow alumna of Kelly Rae Roberts’ Flying Lessons 2012 group. (I didn’t follow the prompt, but I did write about fears. Will try to stay on topic next time.) Hello, fellow Flyers!
Quite frankly one of the most fearless things I am doing right now is to keep posting in this blog. I find it quite hard to do this now that people who know me can read my posts! (This development came in October 2012 when I launched this site.)
It was easier to be open, vulnerable, and blunt when it was really just for me. What if people who know me think I am pretentious? Or boring? Or somehow less than they thought I was–my true inner blandness exposed? So right now my blog is not exactly a refuge for me or even just a chronicling of my creative activities any more, it’s more a challenge to be overcome every time I post. It is very hard to banish the Inner Third Party who crouches on my shoulder criticizing Every Single Word that flies off the keyboard and up onto the screen. Every time I post at the moment I have to figuratively put my fingers in my ears and sing “la la la la la la” to drown it out and allow the story to come.
But saying that just by posting an entry I am combating one of my fears seems like a cop-out for my Fearless Friday participation–even though upon reflection, it is actually quite a big one. Thus I would share that I am also dragging myself along on my quest to *do* more rather than just thinking about doing more.
I have a tendency to set admirable but high expectations for myself and then I inevitably fall away from my task/goal. I have so many lovely supplies and items that I never use, and I don’t want to become a hoarder (although even as a child I had a reputation for being a pack rat)! That way lies madness, plus I do realize now that nothing is irreplaceable re artistic materials. Additionally, using things up is the best excuse for getting more things :-).
All the advice I read, from really interesting people who also happen to be successful at what they do (or I wouldn’t be reading their blogs/books), is that a daily practice is not only worthwhile but vital. So, I am inviting myself to do the same. Slowly and with small steps. I did not go out and get an enormous book that will take me four months to fill. Neither did I require of myself that I create a magnificent journal with an exceptional binding designed only after reading six different bookbinding manuals and consulting at least five websites.
Instead, I took a 22×30 sheet of Fabriano watercolor paper that I already had, tore off a quarter-strip, and folded myself an accordion book with a 4×5-1/2″ panel for each day of the first week of the year. I used my new graphic 45 antique typewriter wood stamp set to put the dates on the cover and on each individual page with Ranger’s Library Green Archival Ink. And that was it. No further embellishments or requirements that got in the way of the actual purpose of the book.
At the end of the week, I will either make another accordion for next week or, possibly, do something different IF I am so moved . . . but only if. Right now, this is sufficient. And sure enough, for the first four days, I have done something a little different every day and used a variety of materials and techniques. It has been FUN.